Sofia Vergara turned 54 yesterday, celebrating in Nerano, Italy, on a boat with her son Manolo and close friends. Good for her. She has earned it. The Colombia-born actress was discovered on a beach by a photographer as a teenager, dropped out of dentistry two semesters before her degree was done, and somehow ended up being the highest-paid actress on American television for seven straight years.
Griselda (2024)
This Netflix miniseries is the best thing Vergara has ever done on screen. She plays Griselda Blanco, the Medellín Cartel’s ‘Cocaine Godmother,’ across six episodes directed by Andrés Baiz. The BTS story alone is extraordinary. Every single filming day, Vergara spent over four hours in the makeup chair before a camera rolled. Nine makeup artists put on a prosthetic nose, added fake eyebrow covers with glued-on hairs, used yellowed false teeth to mimic years of chain-smoking, and styled a wig to look flat and thin, all to make her resemble Sofia Vergara less.
That last part backfired: the new walk gave her a back injury that lasted through production. “I had never done anything dramatic. I went home from Modern Family happy in life,” she said. “But in Griselda I had to kill, do cocaine, learn to smoke… everything was a nightmare.” Worth every bit of it.
Hot Pursuit (2015)
Vergara plays a syndicate widow being escorted to testify in court by a clumsy, by-the-book cop played by Reese Witherspoon. The film was shot in New Orleans in the summer heat under a very tight schedule. It marked Vergara’s first role as an executive producer on a Hollywood film, after years of both women seeking a project together.
The most talked-about behind-the-scenes moment happened during a fight sequence. Vergara was pushing Witherspoon for the scene, kept telling her she thought she was going too hard, and Witherspoon kept saying, “No, do it real.” So Vergara did it real. Witherspoon ended up in the emergency room that night thinking her appendix had burst.
Vergara’s version on The Ellen DeGeneres Show: “I popped her ovary.” Witherspoon confirmed she was fine and had no hard feelings, mentioning her more medically precise version. She also felt confident about a Spanish-language scene, having studied Spanish in high school. Vergara listened, turned to her and started laughing. “She wasn’t even nice about it,” Witherspoon said. “She was like, this is terrible. You sound terrible.”
Chef (2014)
Jon Favreau wrote the script in two weeks. Shot across four cities: Los Angeles, Miami, Austin and New Orleans. Food truck pioneer Roy Choi started as a consultant and ended up co-producer. Robert Downey Jr. appears in a cameo. The film grossed $49.8 million on an $11 million budget.
Machete Kills (2013)
Vergara plays a brothel madam with guns built into her bra. Robert Rodriguez ran the production fast and loud. The cast includes Mel Gibson, Lady Gaga, and Charlie Sheen, billed under his real name Carlos Estevez. Vergara reportedly loved every second of it.
Fading Gigolo (2013)
This is the one people forget about, which is a shame. John Turturro wrote, directed and starred in this odd, quiet comedy about a man who becomes a gigolo on the advice of his bookshop-owning friend, played by Woody Allen.
Vergara plays one of his clients. The film is funny and strange in equal measure and gave Vergara a chance to do something genuinely understated, which is not something she often gets. Sharon Stone also appears. It earned 84% on Rotten Tomatoes.
The Three Stooges (2012)
This took years to make happen for Peter and Bobby Farrelly. The Stooges are performed by Will Sasso, Chris Diamantopoulos and Sean Hayes, while Vergara has the role of the bad guy, Lydia, the scheming wife who desires her husband’s death.
She was cast by the Farrelly brothers precisely to be able to be glamorous and funny without it being one thing or the other. Other cast members from the Jersey Shore also make appearances in the movie; whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing depends on you.
New Year’s Eve (2011)
The ensemble follow-up to Valentine’s Day packed a lot of celebrity into one film set during one night in New York by writer/director Garry Marshall. Vergara, along with Halle Berry, Robert De Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Lea Michele, Sarah Jessica Parker, Bon Jovi and some dozen others.
Ensemble films of this kind work almost entirely on the energy the actors bring in short bursts, and Vergara’s timing in her scenes is sharp. The film earned $142 million at the box office. The film grossed $142 million. Vergara’s timing in her scenes is sharp.
The Smurfs (2011)
Vergara plays the pregnant wife of Neil Patrick Harris in this live-action hybrid shot partly on location in New York City. Written by Brian Raider and directed by Robert Zillerman, the movie is a live-action/animated hybrid in which a group of Smurfs arrives in Central Park after a chase through a magic portal by Gargamel (played by Brian Mulligan).
She has relatively little to do, but the film has grossed $563 million and will have a sequel with her, The Smurfs 2. The shoot was filmed in New York City, where filming on location is a logistical nightmare and tourists often come by to see what is happening.
Four Brothers (2005)
John Singleton directed this Detroit revenge thriller about four adopted brothers whose foster mother is murdered. Vergara plays the wife of one of the brothers.
Singleton used a cold, gritty expression, which fit the wintertime in Detroit. It grossed $92 million overseas. At this point, Vergara’s film roles were more about supporting than starring, but she was working very hard to make her supporting roles memorable.
Chasing Papi (2003)
That’s where it began. The first “real” lead Vergara has ever had in an English-language movie sees the actress as one of three women who all fall for the same guy. Roselyn Sánchez and Jaci Velasquez play the other two. A lot of the humor is broad, and it appears the budget was limited as well, but Vergara is definitely worth the view. She was 30 years old and had resided in Miami for several years, and was primarily recognized to American audiences via Univision. It failed to win many readers, but it certainly got readers’ attention.
On a boat off the coast of Italy, she spent her 54th birthday. So far, at least, the last twenty or so years have been as interesting as everything that has gone before it, and whatever is to come will be at least as interesting.
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